A satirical song about the social crisis in NZ under Rob Muldoon's rule.
Later it was set to the tune of "God Defend New Zealand" and
became the anthem of the McGillicuddies.
A Maori version of it was sung by one of them in Parliament in 2003.
There
is no depression in New Zealand;
there are no sheep on our farms,
There is no depression in New Zealand;
we can all keep perfectly calm,
Everybody's talking about World War Three;
everybody's talking about World War Three,
But we're as safe as safe can be,
there's no unrest in this country
We have no dole queues,
we have no drug addicts,
we have no racism,
we have no sexism, sexism,
no, no
There is no depression in New Zealand;
there are no teeth in our heads
There is no depression in New Zealand;
we sleep in a well made bed
Oh but everybody's talking about World War Three,
yes everybody's talking about World War Three,
But we're as safe as safe can be,
there's no unrest in this country
We have no SIS,
we have no secrets,
we have no rebellion;
we have no valium, valium,
no, no
There is no depression in New Zealand;
there are no sheep on our farms,
There is no depression in New Zealand;
oh we can all keep perfectly calm,
perfectly calm,
perfectly calm,
perfectly
calm,
perfectly calm...
Unrest in Muldoon's New Zealand
This
1981 song mocks the attitude of Rob Muldoon, who was prime minister
of New Zealand from 1975 to 1984, a time when we were changing from
an monolithic rural society to an educated and complex urban economy.
He
was one of the most polarising figures in New Zealand history, failing
to address the growing economic depression and consequent unemployment,
the racial unrest and the threat of civil war "World
War Three" when a racially repressive Springbok
Rugby team toured New Zealand.
Muldoon divided New Zealanders into two camps. Some saw "Piggy"
Muldoon as a dictatorial Prime Minister who came close to destroying
both the economy and social fabric of New Zealand through his arrogance.
Others, "Rob's Mob", revered him as a supporter of the "ordinary
bloke" and an icon of the New Zealand national character.
Richard von Sturmer
Playwright,
poet, songwriter, editor.
Born in Devonport, Auckland, c. 1958,
Educated at Westlake BHS and Auckland University.
1976 writes filmscript, Circadian Rhythms.
1978-80 songwriter for Blam Blam Blam.
1978-86 writes performance pieces and plays.
1978-91 writes books of prose poems
1992 begins ten years of Zen training at a Buddhist Community in upstate
New York.
2003 returns to live and work in Auckland.
No Depression in
the McGillicuddies
The
McGilliduddy Serious Party was formed as a political party to use satire
as a way of highlighting the absurdity of other partys' policies.
McGSP leader
Graeme Cairns explains: "In
about 1990 Mark Servian of the McGillicuddies was doing a radio broadcast
over the Waikato Students' Union radio station. It purported to be the
National Radio's Saturday Night Show, 50 years in the future, and the
final piece of music they played was Blam Blam Blam's There is No Depression
in New Zealand," which Mark prefaced with; "And we'll say goodnight
with the National Anthem".
I suggested that its words should be set to the existing anthem's tune,
and the McGillicuddies began singing it in public almost immediately.
No
Depression Anthem on TV
A
few months out from either the '93 or '96 election, KT Julian, co-deputy
of the McGSP, had the brainwave of releasing the song as an election
stunt. She approached Richard von Sturmer who readily gave his consent,
but unfortunately the recording was never made.
However when the McGSP registered as a modern political party for MMP
(with 666 members) on 18th April, 1995, both TV stations broadcast them
singing the anthem whilst presenting their documation to the bewildered
Dr Paul Harris, in Wellington.
No
Depression dance routine today
Although The McGSP was disbanded, and the McGillicuddy Highland
Army is now seldom called up, the Anthem has not fallen into disuitude.
The Hamilton-based "Swamp Stomp" Gumboot
Dancers still use
it regularly as part of their eclectic range of antics.
Metiria
Turei contested several seats for the McGillicuddy Serious Party over
the years before the McGSP dismantled itself in Dec 1999. Then, like
several other McGillicuddies, she joined the Green Party, but she
never left Clan McGillicuddy. So when she became an MP, in 2005, as
part of her Maiden
Speech, she chose to sing the McGillicuddy National Anthem.
McGSP leader Graeme Cairns explained that
the usual McGillicuddy version would have confused, annoyed or amused
most people, and so she sung it in Maori, to the tune of "God Defend New Zealand" thus teasing the people
who were irritated
by Te Reo's encroachment
into officialdom, and also the Maori Language Orthdoxy, who would
view this sort of prank as beneath the language's dignity.
Tune:
God of Nations at thy feet...
Kaore he pouri i Aotearoa
Kaore nga hipi i runga i ou pamu
Kaore he pouri i Aotearoa
Me noho mahaki tonu tatou
Korero nga tangata i World War Three
Korero nga tangata i World War Three
Kei te pai noa iho tatou noho
Kaore he raruraru i tenei whenua
No depression in New Zealand
No sheep on our farms
No depression in New Zealand
We should all stay very calm
The
people talk of World War Three
The people talk of World War Three
It is good we can stay quite free,
No problems in this country
Metiria
explained how these lines were selected and polished. " KT
Julian wrote a text book Maori translation of these verses but the
words were very formal and didn't work well when sung. My husband
and I reworked it, taking out some words and replacing others in order
make it easier to sing.
We had the most dificulty in deciding what to do with the translation
of 'World War Three' as it was a fairly long translated phrase. We
worked out in the back of a taxi with the help of the taxi driver.
All three of us agreed that World War Three was a proper name. I think
that this phrasing makes the song.
I sung it during my maiden speech in parliament as the Reo version
of the McGillicuddy national anthem to thank the McGillicuddys for
the political experiences I had with them. At the time it was highly
unusual for anyone to sing during a maiden speech, let alone something
so irreverent."
Ms
Turei
may
not have been aware that
by
singing a specially composed song in the House, she was continuing
the tradition of 1960s-70s MP Paddy
Blanchfield, "The Bard of the Coast."