Some Kath Tait Songs

She was born in a middle class town, 
She could have gone up, she could have gone down.
She just went around and around 
 On a downward spiral.
One morning so fair and fine
She stole away while the moon did shine,
Strayed on down the wayward line, 
 Southwards of survival.

Chorus: 
She could have been a lady,
She could have been a wife, 
But she fell into the river of life.
Swimming in a pool of trouble and strife, 
 She really loved the danger.
And the river of life it rolls and flows
Down by the banks where the brambles grow.
Swimming around in trouble and strife, 
 Way down low in the river of life.

Over hills of thorns and valleys of scorn, 
Rambling like she was gypsy born,
Travelling on through weather and storm
 Without a thought for danger.
But she was young and looking for fun 
And dreaming of things she'd never done,
So lost in sweet oblivion,
 She welcomed in the stranger.

But the stranger he was a wanton rake
For he took her money and he called her a fake,
Shook her round like an old earthquake,
 And left her there for plunder.
Now a heart gone down might never be found
Might lie in the dirt and roll around,
But hers was always on the rebound 
 And it never would go under.

Now the woman of character wins in the end.
The river of life will be your friend.
Not frail of heart, but a true upstart,
   The river of life has made her.
And like a flood she did surely rise,
High as the hills and the clear blue skies,
She never was a lady but she was wise
 And nothing much would change her.

Steel hearted Annie came home from work
 Through the park in the dark where the rapist lurked,
Behind the bushes and about to attack,
 With the cold winds whistling across his back.
He pounced on Annie "Cause she was thin"
 Cause she looked so frail and feminine,
But he wouldn't have done it if he only knew
 That she was a master of Kung Fu !

Chorus: 
Steel hearted Annie with an iron will, 
Looks about as frail as a daffodil,
But you don't take a chance on a small thin dame
With a punch like a piston -on a steam train.

Steel hearted Annie don't like to pose 
 Like the trembling victims in the movie shows.
She gets mad when she's in distress 
 Like an animal in the wilderness.
There's nothing that she wouldn't do to survive
 She's got a strong desire to stay alive,
And she looks good in pink or blue, 
 But she is a master of Kung Fu !

Steel hearted Annie lived near a jail 
 Where a psycho-killer was released on bail.
He crept stealthily through the night
 And broke into her house to give her a fright.
And the cold wind whistled round the window frames, 
 Made a sound like a ghost rattling chains,
But the psycho-killer ran for his life
 When he saw Annie coming with a carving knife.

Steel hearted Annie told all her friends, 
 "We've got to stand up to violence"
She went to classes and learned to fight
 Now she's not afraid to walk around at night.
She's a great big shark in a little tin can
 A little fire cracker with a great big bang,
So just be careful what you do, 
 'Cause she is a master of Kung Fu!

Poor dim Sally from old Vim valley, 
She was taken in by the Moonies. 
Her friends said they would rather be dead 
Than sucked in by a bunch of loonies.
Her mother cried and her father nearly died 
To see their Sally being hypnotised,
And listening to strange philosophical lies 
And giving all her money to the guru.

  While dancing to the tune of the Reverend Moon, 
  Sally was benevolent and breezy.
  But it made her sad to see her mum and her dad 
  Being hypnotised by the TV, 
  And giving all their money to the politicians, 
  Who wasted it all on their greedy ambitions,
  And Sally was obsessed by her dubious position, 
  Enlisting more disciples for the guru.

Poor dim Sally from old Vim valley, 
She went knocking on doors, 
Explaining her views and proclaiming the news 
And naming the Moonies' laws, 
When she came upon a mysterious charmer, 
Who appeared at the door in his pink pajama,
And talked her into following the Dalai Lama 
And that's how she was rescued from the Moonies.

  Sally took a ferry to a monastery
  Where upon she shaved her head. 
  Her mother cried and her father said "Why
  is our Sally so easily lead ?" 
  The deprogrammers came to unravel her brain 
  But their threats and bribes were all in vain,
  And her poor mother she did proclaim
  "Why can't we all just be nice Presbyterians ?"

Now poor dim Sally from old Vim valley 
Was told to spend eleven days fasting,
But her need for food was so basic and crude 
And she really wasn't very good at lasting.
When they found her hiding behind a tree 
With a marmite sandwich and a cup of tea,
She said " I wouldn't be a failure spiritually 
If I was the leader of my very own religion."

  So she became the guru of her own fringe sect, 
  She got all of the money and all of the respect,
  And she made her disciples swear an oath 
  To eat their way to spiritual growth.
  "Have another sausage roll, have another cream bun",
  She said sitting there on her big fat bum.
  They said "we'll all be saved from being eternally glum 
  In Sally's own original religion !"

She snuck through the hole in the hedge 
So she could visit her neighbour's husband.
She got through the window and into his bed 
And they flopped around like two fish out of water,
Then she came home to her own dear one
Who stood there solemnly watering cabbages.
He'd not an inkling of what she had done
But her mind was full of love's rampant ravages.

  Now her own dear one was a grump in the morning,
  Complaining of how his life was so boring,
  Thinking about his worries and strife, 
  Thinking about his life and his wife,
  But she was lurking with bottles of valium,
  Plotting a plan for constraining and framing him,
  She put a pill in his cup of tea 
  And sent him outside to water the peas.

Then she snuck through the hole in the hedge
So she could visit her neighbour's husband.
She got through the window and into his bed
And they flopped around like two hippos in springtime,
Then she came home to her own dear one 
Who'd fallen asleep between two rows of cabbages.
He'd not an inkling of what she had done 
But her mind was full of love's rampant ravages.

  Then she goes out to buy a new dress 
  To forget her shame and her husband hopping,
  But, knowing she never could ever confess,
  Finds that there is no comfort in shopping.
  So she goes home to her own dear one, 
  Only to find that there's nobody home.
  He's not in the garden watering peas, 
  Picking the peaches or pruning the trees.

So she snuck through the hole in the hedge 
So she could visit her neighbour's husband,
But there was no room for her in his bed,
He was flopping around with her husband instead!
"Oh!", she wailed , "Look what has prevailed. 
I am framed by my own game.
I am a fool for breaking the rules. 
I promise I'll never be naughty again."

  But they didn't hear, they were lost in their spasms,
  Shrieks and cries and loud orgasms.
  They were lost to love's rampant ravages. 
  She was left to water the cabbages !