Peter's original lyrics, sung in the 1960s about a 1930s farmer.   1. There's this young cow cocky1 sitting on a log Sharpening his axe and talking to his dog. Tells his dog he's sick of baching2 all his life. So the dog answers back and says "Why don't you get  a wife?" You've got ducks in the duck pond, Porkers3 in the pen. You're no sooner finished milking4 And you're starting off again. 2. So he hitches up his buggy5 and he drives down to the hall. And there's lots of lovely crows6 there lined along the wall. He says to his gurie7 "I'll leave the choice to you." The dog cuts out8 a good one and he says "She'll do." For the ducks ... 3. You've got to get a license; you've got to get a ring. You've got to see the parson, get the choir to sing. Great day coming, down the church at three. Who gives this woman?" and the dog says "Me". Not the ducks ... 4. Well this poor cow cocky still can't get it right The dog talks in the daytime and the missus talks at night.9  Gunna leave 'em to it, take up another lease. Get up in the teatree10 - get a bit of peace. From the ducks ... 5. Now if you want a moral though I don' know why yuh should Talking to yuh gurie won' do yuh any good, But if you must must be talking just t' keep it sweet an' nice, Here's a tip from me mate; Don't take his advice! You've got ducks in the duck pond, Porkers in the pen. They'll have you going at it When they get you back again.

1. Cow Cocky,  a term with Australian origins. Cocky was short for cockatoo, a name for a small dairy farmer who had earlier been a convict.

2. Baching - living alone as a bachelor.

3. Porkers - half-grown pigs, suitable for killing and turning into pork.

4. Finished milking -  slowly, by hand in primitive muddy cow sheds!


5. Buggy -  this would have been a light 2-wheeled vehicle pulled by one
6. Lovely crows - 'Old crow' usually describes a bitter older woman. But crows perch in lines on branches. Perhaps Peter Cape saw the lovely young women as potential nagging hags?

7. Gurie - dialect Maori pronuciation of Kuri = dog, which was developed

8. To cut out - to separate a single farm animal from its protective herd.

9. The Missus talks at night. When the farmer came in at night,

10. Tea-tree was manuka scrub, which grows quickly after a mature

Arthur Toms' version, sung in 1980s about a 1950s farmer.   1. There's this young cow cocky, and he's sitting on a log Sharp'nin up his axe an' talkin' to his dog. Says to his dog "I'm tired uv baching all m' life." An' the dog answers back "Mate, why don't you get a wife?"   For the ducks in the duck pond, Porkers in the pen. You've no sooner finished milking and you're starting off again. 2. So he hops aboard his tractor,11 drives down to the local hall. Lots of lovely sheilas12 lined against the wall. He says to his dog "I'll leave the choice to you." So the dog cuts outta grouse13 one and he says "She'll do!" For the ducks ... 3. Well yuv gotta gedda14 license; yuv gotta gedda ring, Yuv gotta gedda parson, 'n get the choir to sing. Great day coming, down the church at three. "Who gives this woman?" and the dog says "Me!" For the ducks ... 4. Now this poor cow cocky still hasn' got it right Dog talks in the daytime and the missus talks at night. He's guntuh14 leave 'em to it, take up another lease. Somewhere back in the teatree, where he'll getta bitta14 peace.  From the ducks ... 5. Now if you want a moral though I don' know why you should Talking to your dog won't do you any good, But if you must must be talking, just keep it sweet an' nice, An' here's a tip from me mate; don't take his advice.   You'll have ducks ...

11. His tractor. Before WW2, only big NZ farmers could afford to buy


12. Sheila is a term for a young woman, borrowed from Australia where
13. Grouse, meaning 'very satisfactory, excellent' was borrowed from

13. Yuv gotta gedda is New Zealand rural dialect for "You have got to get a..." (He's guntuh/gunnuh = He is going to) This clipped speech with many vowels reduced to "uh" and with final consonants omitted was first brought to notice in Barry Crump's book "A Good Keen Man." G'day; howyuh gun ma'? (Good day; how are you getting on, mate?) We slipped into it when we landed, very tired, at Dallas airport at midnight, and nobody could understand us.

Australian version 1. There's a young cow cocky sitting on a log Sharpening his axe and talking to his dog. He says "I'm sick and tired of baching all me life." And the dog says "Well, why don't you take a wife?" You've got ducks in the duck pond, Porkers in the pen. You hardly finish milking And you're starting in again. 2. So the jumped into the ute15 and drove to the local hall. There's lots of lovely girls lined up along the wall. He says to the dog "I'll leave the choice to you." The dog cut out a beaudy and he says "She'll do." 3. "Now you've got to do it proper. You've got to get a ring. Talk to the parson. Get the choir to sing." Great day coming. Down the church at three. " Who gives this woman?" and the dog says "Me". 4. Now this poor cow cocky still can't get it right The dog talks all day and the missus talks all night. "Gunna leave 'em to it; take another lease. I'm going way up country just to get a bit of peace." 5. Now if you want a moral and I don't see why you should., Talking to your dog won't do you any good, And if you must get married do it quick and nice, And if you've got a talking dog then don't take his advice.