| New Zealand FOLK*SONG |
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GUTBOARD BLUES
Dave Jordan , 1969
"I worked at the Feilding Freezing works
in the summer hols of '65 and '66," said Dave, "But as a
point-switcher on the mutton/lamb grading lines. "My best mate at the
time also at Massey University with me was Graeme Cowley (who went on
to produce movies like 'Carry Me Back') - it was he who was on
the gut board and I wrote this out of sympathy for him as a kind of
documentary commentary after asking him one time there why the skin
was coming off his hands and his toes appeared to be rotting
off...also why he smelled like vomit all the time..." The gutboards
are now called 'viscera tables'. Sheep guts like the ones Dave's
mate helped to clean earn New Zealand about $50 million a year,
exported as sausage skins!
C F
(Well) I'm off down the road every mornin' 'bout eight,
C C7
Going down to the job, and it's a job (that) I hate,
F Fm C A7
Hackin', cuttin' mutton gut on a contract basis,
D7 G7
I climb into my overalls and take my place as
C F
The boss comes along and he tells me that
C C7
I've got to strip and clip a stomach every second flat,
F Fm C A7
So I bust a gut just to get the job all done,
D7 G7 C
Cleanin' cuttin' mutton gut until the cows come home, So...
F
Sling 'em here and sling 'em there,
C C7
Those guts keep a-comin' in from ev'rywhere
F Fm C A7
I'm up to my elbows in a(this) dark green ooze,
D7 G7 C F C G
I've got the (Got them) hackin' cuttin' bust-a-guttin' Gutboard Blues.
(Now) down through the 'chute with a slosh and a slop
Those sheep guts drop and never seem to stop,
So I grab myself a stomach and I slit it wide,
Then I trim it and I scrape it till it's clean inside,
Then I turn on the hose and let the water run,
Toss it onto the pile, and that's another one done.
The pace is hot, I stop a spot and mop my brow,
And my face has all been covered up with grass by now, So...
Sling 'em here and sling 'em there,
Those guts keep a-comin' in from ev'rywhere
I've gotta have the money, and a beggar can't choose
(I've) Got the sloshin' sloppin' never-stoppin' Gutboard Blues.
There's hydrochloric acid eatin' into my head,
My hair's turnin' green and I smell like I'm dead,
There's fellas all around me sloshin' juice on my knees,
And the temperature's a-hittin' 'bout a hundred degrees,
I've had a gutsful of guts. I'm tellin' you true,
I don't think I could stomach one more ewe,
It's a way of makin' money and a living, but..,
Sheep.... I hate your guts, So...
Sling 'em here and sling 'em there,
Those guts keep a-comin' in from ev'rywhere
How else can I afford to live the life that I choose
Without those acid-burnin' stomach-churnin'
money-earnin' Gutboard Blues.
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- Gutboard Blues on Record
- Jordan 1970
- Song of a Young Country 1972
- Turner 1983
- Harding 1996
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Gutboard Blues - Hills of Coromandel - Down Trou - Somewhat Under the Weather
DOWN TROU
Dave Jordan 1966
Collected from Richard Mills and Mitch Park 1999.Parody
This is a parody on the tune of Down Town done when Dave was a 1st year Massey student and presented at the Massey University Revue in 1966. Parodies from university student reviews, the Howard Morrison Quartet, and later the TV review McPhail and Gadsby, have been a major source of social commentary via satirical parodies of current popular songs. David McPhail's I'm Proud to be a Scourer from Mataura is said to have been included in the local (Gore) High school song book.
When you're alone and there's a crowd all around you And you need a friend Down trou! Stand on a table with your pants at your ankles And you'll start a trend Down trou! Your loneliness will vanish in a flood of fellow feeling And all around the bar room you will see the boys all peeling Inhibitions laid bare - Somehow all your cares will go This is the way to meet people that you didn't know, when you Down trou! Things will be great when you Down trou! Shock all the natives and Down trou! You'll perform better that way! Gimme a dare, just say the word and I'm there; It's all such evil fun: Down trou! I can't stand still, and I just can't wait until We get our belts undone: Down trou! Oh, why do they condemn it in the older generation? It's just as though they're suffering from moral constipation - Man, it's no sin Things swing as our pants reach our knees With our bare legs hanging out just enjoying the breeze as we Down trou! Pub's closing, let 'er rip Down trou! Six o'clock sunset strip Down trou! Fresh air is good for your skin Stop feeling shy, your inhibitions will fly When you undo your belt Down trou! Even if you first need a flagon or two To make your presence felt Down trou! And once you've made the opening all the others will be starting Forget about the Charlies who in horror are departing How can you refuse? You just have to heed the call And drop your tweeds to your ankles, stand backs to the wall and cry: Down trou! Take up the call and cry Down trou! Undo your belt and fly Down trou! . . . But pull them back on when you leave. Things swing as our pants reach our knees With our bare legs hanging out just enjoying the breeze as we Down trou! Pub's closing, let 'er rip Down trou! Six o'clock sunset strip Down trou! . . . But pull them back on when you leave. |
Gutboard Blues - Hills of Coromandel - Down Trou - Somewhat Under the Weather
SOMEWHAT UNDER THE WEATHER
Dave Jordan 2000
Tune: Somewhere, Over the Rainbow 1938
G Bm C G
Somewhat, under the weather, off my face
C G Am D G
Hit the sack with a basin, waiting there just in case
Last night we drained the pubs, along the road
Now I feel like I got both ends ready to explode
G
A head appears around the door
Am Em C D
Or is it two or maybe more, to wake me,
G
I focus but it's only one
Edim Am 6
-Oh no, there's two, me bird and mum
Am D7
And boy they hate me -
Somewhat under the weather, blame the guys
When you've been to an all night-do there's the reason why
Got a taste in my mouth like something died
Road-kill breath and a burning burp swellin deep inside
Some night I'll lean upon a bar
Remembering the uni days behind me
But daiquiris and cocktail snacks
Are twenty years along the track
So don't remind me!
Now I'll stick with the blokes and jugs of brew
Sink more piss is our motto, time to get blotto too.
If happy little bluebirds fly
I'll swat em down and kick em till they die.
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Revised July 2000, Dec 2020