This rhyme, sung to the tune of
'Row, Row, Row your Boat,' and heard at both ends of the country, is an example
of the rhymes currently heard in the New Zealand school playground and which
can be traced to origins in the United Kingdom, as far back as Elizabethan times.
Many of these rhymes have been adapted to fit in with our
world of hectic change. They deal frankly with social issues, including drugs
and gangs. There is a strong Maori influence, and Aussie knocking is also
featured.
On the same theme of drugs, is
|
Pokarekare ana I was smoking marijuana I gave it to the teacher She said, "Come here!" I said, "No fear. I'll be back next year With a bottle of beer, To rub in your hair." |
Variations of our national anthem also abound,
|
God of Nations, in the scrum, Kick the Aussies in the bum. If it hurts, serves them right. Blow them up with dynamite. |
God of Nations, smell my feet, In the local pub we meet, Don't buy whisky, it's too dear, Buy our local DB beer. |
|
God of Nations, smell my feet, In the bonds of Shortland Street. Hear our voices, tweet, tweet, tweet. God defend our toilet seat. |
Playground rhymes reflect the effects of commercialism and media influence. Many of the trendy food brand names, and our own icons of Marmite and barbed wire fences are included.
|
Wanna fight? - Marmite If you wish. - Jellyfish Bring it on - Tampon |
Cows are in the meadow, Sheep are in the corn. Don't climb the barbed wire fence. You'll get your knickers torn! |
Popular food brands also feature.
|
McDonalds, McDonalds. (make a big M with hands) Kentucky Fried Chicken (flap arms like a chicken) And a Pizza Hut (form a ^ with arms) |
Girls are sexy, made out of Pepsi. Boys are rotten, made out of cotton. Girls go to the gym, to get more slim. Boys go to rugby, to get more ugly. |
The 'Girls are Sexy' chant is used when girls play Elastics.
Full details of
how NZ children play Elastics may be found in this PDF
document.
Other
Elastics chants feature traditional food favourites.
| Ice
cream soda, pavlova Coca Cola, my friend out. |
| Passion
fruit and ice cream soda, Yum, yum, yum, it's pavlova. |
| Fanta,
Fanta, my friend Fanta. The nicest of them all Is my friend Fanta. |
Toys much promoted on television are also parodied.
| Jingle
bells, jingle bells Santa Claus is dead. Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear, Shot him in the head. |
Barbie
doll, Barbie doll, Tried to save his life. But a GI Joe from Mexico Stabbed her with a knife. |
Television and movie stars are included in recently collected rhymes.
| Bart
versus Lisa, Who will win Their father's fat And their mother's thin. Their grandpa smells Of whisky and gin. |
I hate you, you hate me, Let's get together and kill Barney. With a one punch, two punch, three punch, four No more purple dinosaur! |
And Batman and Robin are still favourites. (I added the 1980s "Wonder Woman" version - JA)
| Jingle
Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. Oh what fun it is to see, The duo split today. HEY! |
Jingle
Bells, Batman smells Robin ran away Wonder Woman lost her bosom On the motorway |
Gang warfare is sung to the 'Beverley Hillbillies' tune
| There
once was a man and his name was Tower. He went down town to join Black Power. There once was a man and his name was Bob. He went down town to join Mongrel Mob. Along came Tower with his 303 And he blew those boys right out of Beverley (Hills - that is) |
Maori words have entered schoolyard chants.
| Rahina,
rahina, one, two, three, Ratu, ratu, skip with me. Rapa, rapa, turn around, Rapere, rapere, touch the ground Ramere, ramere, touch the sky Rahoroi, the rope swings high Ratapu, you're too slow, End of the week, so out you go. (Rahina = Monday, Ratu = Tuesday etc.) |
Twinkle, twinkle little star, Hemi had a paru car, Like a diamond in the sky, Hemi lives in a pig sty. Twinkle, twinkle little star, Hemi had a paru car (paru = dirty) |
|
I am the ghost of a place named Venus, Come near me and I'll bite your p**** I am the ghost of Hone Heke Come near me and I'll bite your t*** |
Taunts against pakeha, and our sporting rivals, the Australians, are also prevalent in the playground.
|
Catch a little pakeha, Put him in the pot, Mix him up with puha, And what have you got? Puha and pakeha stew!!! |
I'm
an Australian, Born and bred, Long in the legs, And thick in the head. |
This
parody of the long-running Chesdale cheese
advert was sung at Papakura in the 1960s.
Lynne McAnulty-Street heard this in South Auckland
when "The Simpsons" first hit our tv screens. Ackerley,
Janice, Playground rhymes keep up with the times, an article in Play
and Folklore Sep 2002 Bauer,
Laurie and Winifred, Skipping
Games and Rhymes, pdf document 2002. Apple on a Stick, Bam('bry)
Bush
We are the boys from down on the farm
We really know our fleas
There's no better value in Chesdale
It always fails to please.
Chesdale slices thickly,
always crumbles, has no taste,
and boy is it a bloody waste
Chesdale Cheese
The Poms all buy it - don't try it.
It is a skipping chant adapted from one of Bart's verses.
Beans, beans,
Good for the heart.
How many beans
Will make you fart?
One,
Two,
Three,
... etc
References and Acknowledgements
Opie, Iona and Peter. The Lore and Language of Schoolchildren.
Oxford University Press Ltd. 1959
Christchurch College of Education. National Diploma of Children's
Literature Folklore Collection.
Collected by students of Patterns of Language CL713, 1994 - 2001
Bauer, Laurie and Winifred, Elastics,
pdf document 2002. This has many more NZ playground chants, and also full
details of how Elastics is played in NZ.