Old story-teller Bob Edwards is letting us know this is a "wopper Kiwi"
yarn when he tells of the mythical Wapakiwi township.

     G                                          D
Pull up a stump and lend an ear, a story I'll relate:
                                         G
About a sinful waste of beer I will elucidate.
                                          C
I'll tell of how calamity struck Wapakiwi town
                      G            D                  G
And caused a gruesome tragedy, the day the Pub burned down.


The boys had gathered in the bar upon that fateful day.
By horse and foot and motor-car they all had made their way.
While listening to Manuka Jones, New Zealand's finest liar,
We heard a cry that chilled the bones: "The flamin' Pub's on fire!"

There'd been a drought for weeks and weeks: the wells and tanks were dry.
No water flowed along the creeks, we had no town-supply.
The blazing sun, without relent, turned all the green to brown -
Imagine our predicament, the day the Pub burned down.

Through smoke and flame we dragged the booze to safety out the door,
Then thought of what we stood to lose, and rushed back in for more!
"Stand by - the Fire Brigade is here!" (those men of high renown):
"Oh, fireman, fireman, save the beer and let the Pub burn down!"

They stoved the tops of barrels in while strong men knelt to pray,
Shoved their flippin' hoses in and shouted "Pumps away!"
They fought with beer and lemonade, that raging fire to drown:
We fought and cursed the Fire Brigade, the day the Pub burned down.

Now moreporks haunt the old pub-site 'round Wapakiwi town,
And 'shikkers' roam the hills at night to hunt the firemen down.
They curse the cash they cannot spend, their raging thirst to drown:
Dry horrors drove them 'round the bend, the day the Pub burned down.

Tune

These words have been sung to several tunes, and it also works well as a recitation with plenty of over-acting. Warm up a chorus-shy audience by getting them to shout the last line for you.

Phil Garland says "There are some 3 tunes for this great ballad floating about, it's probably hard to know who created what - there's certainly a good bit of folk process at work here."

There ar two of them here.
Melodic MIDI
This was the original version on the 1972 "Young Country" album.

Chanted MIDI
I like doing it this way, without any guitar accompaniment, but telling a tale with a lots of gestures and an expressive actor's voice (JA)

The Ballad Writers' Toolbox

I'll Relate You can get whole new insights into the nuances of your ballads by reciting them instead of singing them. New humour is discovered in the funny ones and unexpected new feelings in the soulful ones. Try reciting this Pub yarn, and Gin and Raspberry, or Hills Of Coromandel.

"The Pub" on Record

Song of a Young Country 1972,
Irish Rovers _ _ _ _

Graham Wilson 1980,

The McCook's 1988,

Rudy Sunde 1993

Phil Garland has sung a number of times over the years and he recorded it on the 1972 compilation LP Song Of A Young Country.

It featured on the 'Down The Hall...' CD by the female trio "When The Cat's Been Spayed" where it was wrongly attributed to Phil. He was embarrassed at this credit as he has always given Bob Edwards credit for the song. It caused problems for Phil with Bob who believed wrongly that Phil was attempting to claim the song, but after phone calls/letters it was sorted out.

Bob Edwards on Record

Old Bob was a member of "Cazna Gyp"( i.e. Anzac gypsies) He was a swagger, a socialist and songwriter. (The day the pub burnt down, Old Billy Kirk, The old McKenzie trail, McKenzie and his dog) His songs are recorded by many, including the Songspinners, William Clauson, John Hore-Grenell, and the Bluegrass Expedition.