In the TV persona of Fred Dagg, the late John Clarke told us how
the Real Kiwi Bloke viewed the 1970s - click
here.
Then in the 1990s he sang it at the 'United Nations' - click
here.
Now Roger Lusby shows us how a Real Kiwi Bloke deals with the
2020s.
Guitar: Key E hammer on pull off A- B7 on refrain
Once upon a time, in our mighty Southern Ocean
Long after the world's
greatest fish was first landed
And become our country that rocks
to earthquakes and
pestilence
A bloke made an announcement
through a budgie smuggler
on the end of his nose that
Jacinda our Prime Minister who was shooing away
a bad germ at the time
had a message for us
She said we had to go into lockdown
And she wanted her team of five million to pull together
because,
As she said “in the inimitable words of the Late Great Mr
Fred Dagg
“We don't know how lucky we are mate,
We don't know how lucky we are!”
Yes she said "I have a feeling
We are living
somewhere substantial.” and “We don't know how lucky we are!"
I was talking to a mate of mine, just the other day,
I know him really well,
you know, old um - What's His Name,
He was out the back with the shearers
when I called to say
gidday
I asked him how he was, and he said OK
The wool doesn't make
enough make it pay
And the Kiwifruit's got the PSA
The honey bees have got
varroa mite
And the cows are full of mycoplasma
And the Greens they're
full of shite
"But" he said, "Roger - things are comin' right.
We don't know how lucky we are mate, We don't know how lucky we
are!”
Yep we don't know how lucky we are in this fine country of
ours “We don't know how lucky we are!"
There's a guy I know who lives in town
I see him about once a
year
He's had a hip replacement last Easter
He's got the tinniness in
his ear
He went bankrupt last week and his wife's left him too
I said "You're
looking sick mate,
You're looking queer: what'ya gonna do?” He said
“We don't know how lucky we are mate,
We don't know how lucky we are!”
Yep we don't know how lucky we are to be alive in this
country
living by by the plug hole of the world, you know “We don't know how lucky we are!"
So when everything seems pretty crook
and you're tempted to stick your head in gas oven
Remember, New Zealand's a cracker
since we stopped all the tourists coming in
And if things get appallingly bad and
we can no longer manage to live our dream
We can just shut down the country forever
and kill off
the COVID-19
“We don't know how lucky we are mate,
We don't know how lucky we are!”
We don't know how propitious are our circumstances. We don't know how lucky we are.
Get it right
We have no idea of the luck we possess, collectively
We just don't know how lucky we all are.
Full stop.
At
the dawn of the day, in the great Southern
Ocean
Where the world's greatest
fish was being landed
And the boat they were pulling it into was sinking
And the sea was quite
lumpy, and the weather was foul
And the bloke with the map was as pissed as an owl
And the boys called out
"Maui, ya clown, let it go"
In the noise he reached down for his grandmother's
jawbone
and he winked at his
mates and he said
"Boys, we don't know how lucky we are"
"I have a feeling I have
stumbled on something substantial."
We don't know how lucky we are
We don't know how lucky we are
We don't know how lucky we are
We don't know how lucky we are
I was speaking to a mate of mine,
just the other day
A bloke called Bruce Bayliss,
who lives up our way
He's been round the world on an 8th army do
for a year, more or less
I said "Describe the global position, Bruce"
He said "Fred, it's a
mess.
We don't know how lucky we are in this country.
We don't know how lucky
we are
To live in this joint
mate"
We don't know how lucky we are,
mate
We don't know how lucky we are,
There's a guy I know who lives in town
I see him about once a
year I suppose
He's had a coronary since Easter
He's got a haemorrhage in
his ear
He went bankrupt a couple of weeks back
And now his wife's left
him too
I said "You're looking hot mate,
You're looking clear, what
are ya gonna do?"
He said "We don't know how lucky we are
To live in this joint
mate"
We don't know how lucky we are,
mate
We don't know how lucky we are,
So when things are looking really bad
And you're thinking of
giving it a way
Remember, New Zealand's a cracker
And I reckon come what may
If things get appallingly bad
And we're all under
constant attack
Remember, we want to see good clean ball
And for God's sakes, feed
your backs
We don't how fortunate we are to have this place
We don't know how
propitious are the circumstances.
We don't know how lucky we are,
mate
We don't know how lucky we are,
We don't know how lucky we are, get it
right
We just don't realise how
fortunate we are
We have no idea, the luck, we possess, collectively
We just don't know how
lucky we all are. Full stop.
Source,
Fred Dagg (Anthology) CD 2000
John Clarke's original 1970's song
E
I was speaking to a
A
mate of mine just the other day
E
A guy called Bruce Bayliss actually who
A
lives up our way
Fm F E
He's been living in
A
Europe for the year, more or less
Fm
I said "How was Europe, Bruce?"
B7
He says "Fred, it's a mess"
We don't know how lucky
we are, mate
We don't know how lucky
we are,
I was down the Plough and Chequebook,
the night before last
There's a guy down there on the floor
with his brain at half-mast
I said "You're looking really bad mate
your eyes look like strings"
He says "Get me an eight will you please
I can't see a thing"
We don't know how lucky
we are, mate
We don't know how lucky
we are,
Me stock agent's got a beach place
where he spends most of his
days
His wife bit the dust down there last year
got eaten by a couple of crays
And his two littlest daughters
got killed by a whale
I said "Are you going down there this year mate?"
He says "Fred, right on the
nail"
"We don't know how fortunate we are
to have that place
We don't know how propitious are the circumstances
Frederick"
So if things are looking really bad
you're thinking of givin' it
away
Remember New Zealand's a cracker
and I reckon come what may
If things get appallingly bad
and we all get atrociously
poor
If we stand in the queue with our hats on
we can borrow a few million
more.
We don't know how lucky
we are, mate
We don't know how lucky
we are.
We don't know how lucky
we are, mate
We don't know how lucky
we are.
Source, "Fred Dagg Live"(LP),
performed at the Christchurch town hall, about 1975.
And an extra verse
Me father-in-law's been feeling pretty pleased with
himself:
He's been living in Greece for the
good of his health.
I said, "How was the climate?And how was your year?"
He says, "The climate's too hot,
you can't get a beer,
The sheilas look like blokes, and of course the blokes
are all queer,
The Turks and the Arabs, well, they
live far too near,
and if you want a really good time, you might as well
live here."
We don't know how lucky we are,
mate
We don't know how lucky we are.
Collected
by Neil & Sandra Copeland.
John Clarke
Fred
Dagg is the enduring name of a comic character created
in NZ by the Palmerston North-born (b.1948, d.2017)
entertainer John Morrison Clarke who has
established himself as a top scriptwriter and comedian
in Australia since he went there to live in the late
1970s.
Clarke first appeared in the Victoria University revue
of 1969 and followed with a revue at Downstage Theatre
in Wellington before working briefly in London in the
early 1970s.
He first appeared on television in a satirical sequence
on a current affairs programme, Gallery, in 1973. Over
the following five years, Fred Dagg - a farmer-figure in
black working singlet, tattered shorts and gumboots -
became the best-known character in NZ comedy. He
appeared regularly on television, toured the country
with a stage show, appeared in a movie, Dagg Day
Afternoon, and made records, including Fred Dagg's
Greatest Hits (1975).
Clarke's prolific talent was also used on radio, a
medium on which he was particularly successful when he
first moved to Australia. Then, he has discarded the
Fred Dagg image and became a leading script writer for film
and television as well as a television
performer. Fred
Dagg Discography.
Fred
Dagg is the enduring name of a comic character created
in NZ by the Palmerston North-born (b.1948, d.2017)
entertainer John Morrison Clarke who has
established himself as a top scriptwriter and comedian
in Australia since he went there to live in the late
1970s.
E